you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize