hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
