I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
