thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
