yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
