im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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