Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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