You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
