I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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