I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
there is glitter all over my balls
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
