strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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