In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
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she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
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What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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