I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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