i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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