Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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