What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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