apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
