JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
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I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize