A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
