apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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