I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize