this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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