she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
