She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
