if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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