She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
