Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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