why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize