She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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