i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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