Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
