thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
