We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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