I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize