I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize
