If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my shit smells like andre
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I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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