Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
