Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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