I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
