omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
dude. I can hear the air.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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