HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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