just tell him i said nine months
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
