And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
