I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
