hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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