and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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