final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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