the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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