I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
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