I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
