I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
