there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
