I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
