i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
