I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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