i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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