i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
