my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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