explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
