yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
