i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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